What a dream world we have fallen into. There is no point hashing out what is going on. It wouldn’t matter anyway, because by the time you have read this it will have changed. We have all been thrust into a world we can’t control. However, what is control really? I submit it’s an illusion. We can plan, dream, expect and even wish, but in the end we are really just adrift on an ocean we call life. The only true person in control is God. We just move along with the waves. At times the seas are relatively calm. We refer to these as the good times. Every so often a squall line blows through and we refer to those as the tough times. Right now we all feel to some extent, that we are in the middle of a class 5 hurricane. However, things are always cyclical and as the saying goes….in good times and in bad….This too shall pass. It always does. Remember that, keep your chin up and keep the faith.
Now coming from me, the saying “Keep your chin up” can be seen as somewhat comical. I struggle with that. I by personality and nature am a pessimist (I prefer realist, so those of you that know me well…stop laughing right now! I am what I am…Popey was a wise one he was!) I am an extreme over-thinker. I can take any situation, relationship, or moment and look at all the possible scenarios that may play out and ultimately focus on the most challenging. Right now this is serving me well. It has allowed me to see what’s coming with all of this and prepare myself emotionally. While I have seen others react in shock to the news cycle, I have found myself having a reaction of….”Meh, it was bound to happen.” Not sure if this is healthy or not, but it is serving me well at the moment, so I accept it. The one thing I do know is that a sense of humor is key in these times. If the storm is coming and there is nothing you can do about it, you might as well take a shot, flip it off, laugh in it’s face and take the hit. What else are you going to do? By the way, the hit still hurts, but it is slightly more enjoyable when you fake giggle.
Through all of this, what has surprised me the most about myself are my feelings of loneliness. I consider myself an extroverted introvert. When I meet folks for the first time, I am VERY introverted. New people take a lot of energy out of me. I can fake it with the best of them, but I don’t like the get to know you phase. However, once I do know you, I can be the life of the party in short bursts. I like to see people laugh. I consider myself fairly witty and can be a HUGE goofball just to make the folks I know and care about smile. Now, if I consider you a friend, forget about it. You have me for the long haul whether you know it or not. Now there is a point to all of this. Even knowing this about myself, I have always known that I don’t have too much of a problem being by myself. I enjoy solo trips. I like alone time. People annoy me. I can rub them the wrong way as well. I have been called intense. I need time to recharge away from folks often. I can go dark and step back from the crowd without notice. It gives me a sense of peace and the illusion of control in my world. What I have found though is that being alone through this “Quarantine” sucks!! Even with all the video meetings, chats and phone calls, I am finding that I am longing for crowds. I miss people. I miss friends, I miss being annoyed, and I definitely know that I need to be connected. I don’t know where this is all going, and I defiantly don’t know when it will end, but I do know that I have re-prioritized my own needs. When this is all over I know that I am not going to take my time around people for granted. I am not naive in thinking that I am going to jump up and down and become an extreme extrovert, but you can bet I am going to try a lot harder to appreciate my people and show them how much I value them. In life, we are born alone, we die alone, but during the journey we have each other and that really is a big deal. I miss you all! Keep your chin up, the first beer is on me!
P.S. Check on your introverted friends too. They are most likely approaching critical mass as well!
Scrumpy's Musings 